Thursday, 3 March 2011

Things I'll never say

So many things I'd like to say
I just don't know, I just don't know
How many times I tried today
To let it show, I just don't know

So many things - Amy Diamond

The last few days I have had so many things on my mind. I have been so confused and a lot of thoughts have been running through my head. I've feel really down and really happy and there have been things I didn't feel like I could say. Everything has been like a universe for me, big, mysterious and unknown.

The past few days have been pretty stressing and I have been thinking about what to do with my life. Now and after high school I know that shouldn't be something to be bothered about now, but I just keep thinking what if I chose wrong? then I have to start all over with night school.. and do I really want to study about Japan or is Korea more my thing now? then why did I chose math/physics? my world just doesn't make sense anymore ;__; maybe I should just take a looong loong break from whatever I don't know. Even when I looked into the mirror today I couldn't even recognize my own face. I haven't changed really much but it looked so weird, just not like me. It wasn't my hair or clothes it was the same but just something about the mirror's reflection wasn't right. Maybe I was dreaming? but well I'm sitting here now, so if it was a dream I would wake up now wouldn't I? I don't know, maybe, maybe not. Am I thinking too much?

Well back to more positive vibes~ Last friday I went out shopping with Laura afternoon and spent the evening with Tea around my place~ As always I forgot my camera so I don't have many pictures sadly D: but I bought two dresses without hangers~ one with stars and another with dots~ I hope the wetter gets better so I can go wear them outside without freezing to death~ I also got the opportunity to buy the book: Modern Fashion illustrations~ I haven't been inspired for some time, but looking through the book kind of gave me the will to go sew again, so I'm working on a sewing project, not cosplay through... I'm not skilled enough for that xD but I'm working on getting better! ^^b
Tea just came home from Hong kong and she told me she had bought me a souvenir and you never guess what it was~ Korilakkuma phone strap~ It's so cute and she got a rilakkuma for herself we are matching

Then Sunday afternoon I went to visit tea at her house. As always her room is so incredible AWESOME I could stay there FOREVER! We played a bit dress up and I got to try on her clothes and she put some make up on me~ It was pretty WOWISH, I looked like a totally different person.. really... I felt Like Tsukimi from Kuragehime~ going from Plain nerd to pretty make up asian lol.. and to be honest I became a bit Jellyfish geek... I guess I'm too addicted to KurageHime xD Haha, I love to dress up, I didn't do it when I was younger because I was tomboy.. played with snails and cars and climbing the trees~ but after the dressing up I thought about changing my appearance a bit. Because I usually NEVER do anything to my hair, it's just boring and straight... so I thought about a haircut~

Before make up

After make up

with curls

something like short in the top and long in the bottom~ still keeping my bang though and I thought about wearing eyeliner~ but I don't know if I should wear it on the waterline or over the lashes.. any recommendations? and please tell me what you think please~? ^^b

OMG Looong Entry is so looong x'D well I'm sorry for the lack of pictures and for a long entry, I actually feel a lot better after writing all this really~ ^^ Lol time now is current: 23:52... I started writing 10:39 I know I'm slowly at blogging ;__; I'm sorry...

and just like so many others I am going to Okashii tomorrow not so nervous as I was in the beginning and my nightmare kinda faded out, even though I'm still fearing it will happen someday ;___; just so tell short about what it was about:

I'll get this message on Facebook where an anonymous write that
  • I'm Fake
  • I should just disappear
  • no one likes me
  • I'm annoying
  • people only hang out with me out of sympathy
  • people only respond to me because they don't want to be rude
  • people only talk to me because they want to hurt me even though they dislike me
  • everyone would be better off without me
  • I take other peoples friends
  • I'm sticking
  • I'm spongeíng on people

    after the message I'll just sit at a table at svscon by myself. Thinking about the message, people I know will pass by me without greeting me, everytime I try to call out to anyone they will just glare at me, and then proceed walking. I'll just sit there all alone, no one will come, I'll start to cry and hide my face in my sleeves but then actually one person go to my table, and that is dun dun dun Kristine with MLFA behind her they aren't saying anything but just standing there looking at me smiling. then the dream ends..

    I know I have friends who loves me and want to be with me, but well dreams are dreams right? even though they can be so realistic and I was actually a bit scared that would be how Okashii would be like, but I'm not nervous anymore. I know I'll do fine! ^^ I'm really excited to go, so anyone going~ See you there~~

    Funny gif just for Kristine

    リ ー ナ  O U T

    C U R R E N T
    Mood:Bored =__=
    Listening to:My physics teacher...
    Weather:Cloudy greyish
    Doing:spacing and stalking formspring~

    1. Y U SO CUTE?!
      Åh skatte, du er så bedårende og giffet rocket maks. Hvis det ikke ville være så skummelt ville jeg gemme det på min computer<3
      Jeg kan godt li din "makeover" men jeg kan bedre li dig, skide vær med hvordan du ser ud udenpå. Du skal gå med det du har det godt med.

      Husk at have det fantastisk til Okashii og glæd dig til camp Shibalba 8D

    2. Aww! Når vi ses igen, får du altså et stort kram!
      - Puha, så jeg dig græde kunne jeg ikke lade være med at komme og trøste dig! <3

      Du er en dejlig person, og jeg er rigtig glad for at jeg har lært dig at kende!

      Vi ses til SVS! <3

    3. Oh, I really know what it's like when thoughts just whirl around your head and it's like you can't make them stop!
      I'm glad yoy felt better after writing this though :D

      And people suck for writing something like that on facebook! :O

      Anyway, sorry, I just came by, cause I was bored and you posted on some other blog that I'm reading, haha :D