Monday, 1 March 2010

»Gone too far

I was in a pretty good mood, but something ruined it!.. I'm not sure what?! But It Annoys me A ALOT! I MEAN.. seriously I LOVE being happeh... or yeah the most of the time(NOT) -__-; Okay I'm in a bad mood I actually shouldn't be.. and of course I don't want it to affect my friends and family but I think it still did. I Suck at making facades..

Today I was annoyed by the girl in my class.. Yeah she has perfect body size and beautiful boobs?! SO OF COURSE SHE IS HAPPY WITH IT! -__- me and my other friend yeah we don't like our sizes and breasts. Yeah It's normally for girls.. but that doesn't mean I can't complain. I know it's annoying to hear someone complaining all the time.. but sometimes I just like to complain.. I don't like anything about myself. or maybe with exception of my hair and still sometimes I hate it. I want to be bald! Or get a lot of surgeys. we can start with the eyes and then go to the legs. Hating being FAT!... I have to find a sport I like and do more sport.. Sport is just boring... but I'll have to pull myself together and get it done!

And The school isn't helping either... WHEN DOES I HAVE TIME FOR SPORT?! HALLO?! I got a billion homeworks to do just because we are missing some lessons because our school is f*cked up! -______- And our Geography teacher is the WORST! I HATE HIM! His teaching metode SUCKS and he gives 100000000000000 homework... read this, answer this, watch this etc. etc. but Today is Monday so of course I went to sewing and designing. My Hairbow is going fine! My Hat is done in no time if Nadia remember to bring the black laces.. my Ribbon is going fine too I just have to sew it together too~ It's Muzuki's light blue Ribbon with a star! <3 Actually according to the plan I should have made a Negima waistcoat and a Chrome Dokuro eyepatch. which I of course didn't make.. but there is still hope for the Eyepatch. I showed a hat on Pupe which I liked and asked if I could make one. She said it was possible so I hope I can make it!~

and when I surfed on the Internet I looked at my blog and saw a new entry from Julie. My first thougt was 'I shouldn't read it, it might be private' but when I saw the Title I felt a bit sad, because she don't tell me anything I felt I had failed as a best friend so I read it. I found out I hadn't failed as a best friend, I just failed as a best friend who should supported the friend. So Yeah I FAILED! AGAIN?! I ALWAYS FAILS IN LIFE!... I found out that I made so many mistakes andI couldn't make up for any of them. It was too late. I totally understand her feeling now. I might be the worst bother and exsample of a Best friend. So I'll do my best to make up, but I'm pretty sure I'll just fail that too....

I'm Tired of this life. I'm tired of how things work. and it didn't help when I go on and on hurting my friends. I'm just the worst. sometimes I just wish I weren't pessimist, but it's nothing that is so easy to change. So I'll do my best to change. Being optimist and support my friends no matter what.

I just read my english homework, I felt really bad afterwards. I mean two gangster boys who 'fight' and talk, becomes friends and then the one die.. the world is so unfair I think It's went to far WHY SHOULD IT HAPPEND?! I know I sound like the person who didn't die.. but yeah WHY?!!..

And as it couldn't be worse it did.. my brother don't want to share the brownies with me ;A; and I don't think I have time to go to club... ;A; I finally started again with no TIME! ;A; Have to do Geography homework which isn't easy at all! D: and take a shower..... And psysics report and of course play Piano! Right now i'm playing Tsuna's Kakusei! ^^

Somehow I feel better... So Stupid, my mood is DOOM!
See you later~

Mood: ARRRRGH?!!!!
Music: Just be friends - Luka Megurine
Consuming: Wanna throw up
Creativity: Writing~ HOMEWORK X_X;
Addicted to: Music...
Doing: DOOM work

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